Let me give you an example for better understanding. Almost all narcissists are heavily image-focused. They want others to think of them differently than who they are in reality. They want to fool others into thinking they’re a great father, a great mother, a great spouse, or a victim in the situation, which is what they are going to try to prove. Your task in this case is to find out how you can make a move by weaponizing their image against them and kind of force them to do what they wouldn’t be willing to do otherwise.
For example, your goal is to get them to sign a co-parenting agreement, and the image they sell to the world is, “Oh, I’m a great parent; I only think about my children; I put them first.” So you have to tap into that. How could you possibly do that? By making whatever you are asking for about the children and how it is going to benefit them.
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Essentially, you have to shape the environment in such a way that if they were to agree to your conditions, it would prove they are not what they claim to be. You have to create an if-and-then kind of situation. If you are a good father, then you will agree to these terms. But be very cautious; you cannot go in there and just say it. “Oh, if you are a good father, then you will do this.” No, you have to be quite strategic.
You just have to tap into that image and suggest indirectly that this is what a good father would do. “If I were you, I would do this.” That’s how you have to create the situation. You have to lure them into the trap so that you can protect your children, get to spend maximum time with them, ensure they do not get to abuse your children and help them heal. That is your agenda.
Having said that, you should go in with a clear mindset about what you want, why you want it, and how you can get it. Unpredictability is going to be your worst move if you just go in thinking, “Oh, I’ll sort it out because they say we’ll sort it out mutually.” That is never going to happen.
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