Step 4: Set clear boundaries with yourself, not with them.
You cannot set boundaries with a narcissist. Set boundaries with yourself. Remember this very well: you cannot control their behavior. If they know something is bothering you, they will do more of it, for that is what benefits them. So set boundaries with yourself. What does that mean? That simply means knowing what your non-negotiables are, knowing when you have to step out of the game, and knowing when to say no.
For example, if they go on being crazy and they call you names, yell, and scream, that is when you say, “I’m not ready to have this conversation with you right now. It doesn’t seem you are in the right state of mind to hold this conversation. I’ll come back to this when you are ready.” That is what you do. You know when to say no, but you have to do it for yourself, not with them.
When you set very clear boundaries with yourself, naturally you take back control because now you don’t depend on the narcissist, you don’t depend on their actions; you depend on your response to their actions, which is solely in your hands. For example, if they show up at your physical place, you know how you are going to respond to that. You know you are going to either call the police or do something that will make them face the consequences. So know what your boundaries are with yourself and strictly follow them. That is your superpower.
Read More: How a Narcissist Destroys Your Body?
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