Number 2: Weaponizing your deepest pain.
They used your deepest pain as a weapon. There are things you share with someone only when you believe they are your haven, not because you want sympathy like them, and not because you’re trying to be dramatic, but because you’re finally feeling seen, because you believe that this person may be different. So what do you do? You open up slowly, carefully. You let them in through the doors you have kept locked for years. You tell them about your father who was absent or hit you, your mother who left and neglected, the night someone stole your voice and left your body hollow, the years you spent blaming yourself, the guilt you still carry in silence.
You hand them the most fragile parts of your story, trembling and uncertain, but you do it out of love, not weakness. You do it because you think they would understand. And for a while, they pretend to listen, they nod, they may even hold you. But what you do not realize at that time is that they are not storing that information in their heart where it is supposed to go; they’re storing it like a weapon. Because one day, when they feel like controlling you, when they feel like punishing you, when they feel small and want to make you feel smaller, they will reach into that sacred well of your soul and throw your pain in your face. They will twist your trauma into ammunition.
They will say things like, “No wonder your family didn’t love you,” or “Oh, you were broken, just like you said you were.” In that moment, something inside you will collapse not because of what they just said, but because of what it meant. And that meant your pain was never safe with them, that they never valued your vulnerability. You feel like you have betrayed yourself, you feel like you have deceived yourself, and you blame yourself for giving them the power. But you need to understand that they are masters of deception, and this is emotional sadism. This is soul betrayal. When someone uses your suffering to control you, to silence you, to hurt you even more, they are telling you, “Your wounds are weapons to me.”
You may also want to read this:
Words That Destroy a Narcissist
9 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
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