Number 4: Once you’ve made the mistake if you do take them back, and this part is very serious, the abuse will escalate.
We talked about the fact that the narcissist keeps you going through the cycle of idealizations, evaluation, discard, covert stuff, back in, and then they start again. The cycle starts again. However, once you have gotten away from the narcissist and you allow them back into your life, the abuse escalates, and the recycling is much faster. The idealization phase is very quick, just enough to get you hooked and on to the cycle of abuse, and then the devaluation begins immediately, and often times it is much more damaging than when you went through the first cycle.
I remember this when my narcissist discarded me. I didn’t know that I would deal with a narcissist. When he said, “Oh, this is too much for me, and we need to break up,” and I just kind of was like, “Okay,” and then he hovered and sucked me back in. What I realized is that the cycle to his abuse, his control, and his manipulation was escalating. And so you have to understand that the abuse will escalate if they suck you back in. Why? The narcissist has no respect for you. They don’t, and they actually see you as a fool for taking them back.
They don’t respect you. They’re just like, I was gone for a month, I never called you, I slept with your coworker, and you’re still willing to take me back? Well, you deserve this because you’re a fool, you’re stupid. This is how the narcissist thinks. And so you have to be aware of that because taking them back, the abuse will escalate. And then, lastly, don’t take the NARC back because, as I said before, they don’t miss you, they don’t love you, they haven’t learned their lesson.
You may also want to read this:
6 things That Instantly Triggers a Narcissist
7 Things That Will Happen During Narcissistic Rage
10 Things A Narcissist Wants After A Breakup
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