Reason 3: Denying narcissists’ emotional fuel
Narcissists thrive on attention. We all know that praise, admiration, drama, fights, anything that puts them in the spotlight feeds them. They don’t care whether the attention is negative or positive, just so long as you are emotionally invested. They are winning.
But silence is emotional starvation. It’s the quiet decision not to participate. And to narcissists, it’s unthinkable. They’ll nag you, poke you, guilt trip you, taunt you just to elicit something from you. A sigh, a frown, an angry text message, essentially anything.
When you’re calm and still, they begin to panic because it means something very terrifying to them:
You may be moving on.
You may be recovering.
You’re just sitting there observing their tricks and not contributing.
Or, maybe, you’re mounting your case.
Silence is a pretty strong message. It is saying: “You’re not worth my energy.” And that kind of dismissal scares the hell out of them. It makes them irrelevant. And to someone who exists on outside validation who needs it constantly, irrelevance is death.
Reason 4: The intimidation of quiet confidence
Confidence tends to provoke a narcissist to become competitive or jealous, but quiet confidence inner, grounded, serene confidence is something a narcissist cannot even recognize as confidence.
They can’t grasp that one can be strong without cheers, without drama. They can’t comprehend how someone can feel valuable without yelling it. It doesn’t compute.
Your calm self-assurance is the reverse of their desperate internal insecurity. You don’t require approval. You don’t over-explain yourself. You don’t break under attack. And that makes them go insane because the entire game they’re playing is predicated on the truth that they have you in hand, your worth to yourself, that they’re in control of you, and they can manhandle you into a reaction.
When they discover you already know that you know you’re worth it, that your peace is not for sale or to be violated, they essentially feel helpless, whether they know it or not. You are a boundary in and of yourself. Silence is a message: “I see you. I’m not afraid because I do not need you.”
That kind of inner strength is disconcerting because they can’t match it. They can’t shake it off. They can’t use it. And when they can’t manage it, they lose interest or they become even more desperate to destroy you, to get an advantage in the game.
You may also want to read this:
Words That Destroy a Narcissist
9 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
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