Number 1: They ask you to cut off someone they dislike.
It never sounds like an ultimatum; it isn’t presented in terms of control. It’s presented in terms of concern. They’ll look at you with love that’s almost affection and say something like, “I don’t know, I just get this funny vibe about this person,” or “I sense that they’re not genuinely happy for you,” or “I’m telling you this because I want you to succeed, but they just don’t seem like a positive force.” And it creeps in slowly. You don’t push; you feel guarded.
You feel selected. You feel as if someone is finally noticing and viewing what you perhaps were too gentle to observe for yourself. But this isn’t seeing; it’s controlling. This is perhaps the most manipulative thing to do because it is framed as intuition. What they’re doing is trying your emotional allegiance, testing how fast and how far you will remake your relationships so that they’ll be safer, testing whether you’ll exchange history for closeness, testing whether their point of view can replace yours. lived experience.
And if you start to stray from the person they pointed you toward even a tiny bit, even in your mind, they know they have you in their crosshairs because now they’re not just your partner; they’re also the filter through which you interpret the world. And this is what they want most: maintaining no voice around you dominates theirs, not your friends, not your family, not even yours.”.
It’s not that the people they have you cut off from are perfect all the time. Sometimes the people they have you cut off from are truly imperfect. But the issue is never whether or not those people are right or wrong; it’s why you can no longer determine that for yourself. That’s the true loss, not merely the friend or the sibling or the coworker you drifted apart from. The real loss is the place in you where you once understood how to trust your thoughts, the part of you where you knew who was safe and who wasn’t without someone explaining it to you.
You may also want to read this:
7 Signs That A Narcissist Is Done With You
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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