Sign 1: The illusion of deep connection
Number one, they carefully craft an illusion of deep connection. In the beginning, a covert narcissist makes se**x feel magical. They are attentive, passionate, and deeply focused on you, aren’t they? It feels like a rare, once-in-a-lifetime connection because they mirror your desires, remember your preferences, and make you feel seen in a way that almost feels sacred. But what seems like genuine connection is predatory manipulation.
They study you closely, not to understand you, but to gain control over you. They use se**x to create a bond that feels special and irreplaceable. They’ll say things like, “I have never felt this way with anyone,” or, “We have such an intense connection, don’t we?” And you will believe it because their attention feels so complete. It’s intoxicating. You are hooked but do not realize it’s a trap.
With an overt narcissist, se**x is often hot, steamy, and intense. It feels like a rush and adrenaline-filled experience designed to overwhelm and dominate. But with a covert narcissist, it’s very different. Se**x is sensual, slow, and soulful. There is no pressure. They show patience, listen to your desires, and respect your needs. As I said, they make it feel like they’re cherishing you, creating an experience that feels genuine and deeply connecting.
But beneath that softness is the same intention to gain control. They create this illusion of care and understanding to deepen your emotional dependence. They create this intensity deliberately because they need you to get addicted to their attention. They need you to crave their connection. They will, later on, withhold. They create the intensity because once they know you are attached, they will begin to pull away.
The person they were in the beginning will start to vanish, but by then, you will be so desperate to get that connection back. You will do anything to earn it. That’s how they trap you—by creating a bond that feels real but is a full performance.
You may also want to read this:
Words That Destroy a Narcissist
9 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
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