Sign 2: Se**x as a measurement of your value
Number two, they slowly turn se**x into a measurement of your value. Once you are emotionally invested in the narcissist, they start shifting the dynamic. Suddenly, se**x becomes a measuring stick for your worth. If they are distant or cold, it is your fault somehow. If they are unhappy, it is because you aren’t pleasing them enough.
They won’t say it outright because they’re covert, but they will leave breadcrumbs that slowly tear you apart. If they’re not getting an erection, for example, they will imply it’s because you are nagging too or that you made a certain face they did not like. If they avoid intimacy or come close to you, they will suggest it’s because you smell, even if you are drowning in deodorant.
They make faces that show disgust, their eyes darting away, or they grimace, like they can’t wait for it to get over. Their body language screams rejection. The sensuality they once displayed is completely gone. They become cold, robotic, and dismissive. There is no tenderness, no patience. The act becomes something to endure rather than share. They treat it as a chore, something they want done as quickly as possible. You are left feeling humiliated, confused, and deeply ashamed of yourself.
When you confront them, they act oblivious. “What do you mean? You are being too sensitive.” But the message has already landed in your subconscious. You start questioning yourself, your appearance, for example, your desirability, and ultimately your worth.
It’s not just rejection; it is torture, a slow, deliberate way to erode your confidence and make you feel like a burden. It is emotional abuse, but in the most intimate, private space. These comments seem small, but they leave deep marks. You begin to believe that your value in the relationship is tied to your ability to satisfy them.
You start performing intimacy, trying harder to earn their affection every day. You believe that if you are better, more adventurous, more available, more accepting, more se**xy, then maybe they will love you like they did in the beginning. But that approval, my dear survivor, never comes because it was never about your performance. It was about setting a standard you could never meet, so you would keep trying. And the more you try, the more they control you.
You may also want to read this:
6 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
How to Spot a Narcissist in Conversation?
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing Is Caring!
