Sign 4: Reframing your se**xual needs
Number four, they reframe your se**xual needs as selfish desires. If you express needs like wanting more emotional closeness or needing more time to feel safe, they flip the narrative. Suddenly, you are too demanding, too needy, or overly se**xual.
They accuse you of always wanting something or never being satisfied—projection. And yet, they withhold se**x most of the time, leaving you desperate for even a hint of intimacy. You find yourself in a place where you are begging for crumbs of affection.
When they do agree to be intimate, it happens strictly on their terms, and even then, the experience feels hollow and mechanically forced. The problem becomes bigger when all of this creates a twisted, painful bond called a se**xual trauma bond. As detached and soulless as the act is, it becomes the only time you feel any connection to the narcissist.
You could be dying emotionally, but you crave those moments no matter how fleeting or painful. And that makes you feel like you’re going crazy because, in those rare moments of cold interactions, it feels like the only space where they are present, at least where they acknowledge you, even if it is through empty touch.
You feel guilty for having such feelings, and slowly, you stop expressing them. You stop asking for connection. You stop saying what you want because you are afraid of being labeled as difficult, hyperse**xual, or ungrateful. And that is exactly where they want you: silent, suppressed, disconnected from your own body.
They do not want to meet your needs; they want to erase them. That’s the thing. The less you ask for, the easier you are to torture. And soon, you do not even recognize what you want. It all becomes convoluted. You learn to expect less, to desire less, to need less. Every time you ask for something, it feels like a betrayal, like you are doing something wrong.
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