Number 3: Displeasing them was not an option.
If you worry a lot about displeasing your parents, there is a good chance they have NPD. Normally, every child wants to please their parents, but in a narcissistic household, that can be much harder than building an Iron Man suit out of a box of scraps in a cave. Many times you’ve seen what happens to the people who upset your parents and you don’t want that to happen to you. Or even worse, that might have already happened to you and that’s why you dread messing things up again.
Ever-shifting goalposts are another good sign that will lead to this fear. If something one day pleased them, that thing could be taken to a ridiculous extreme the next day. Meaning, that it was hard to understand what would make them feel good. Thus, you didn’t know what would displease them, and you were terrified of making a mistake. If you can’t recall feeling this feeling, you might have a hard time understanding yourself, because you were forcing yourself to suppress your feelings to not displease your parents.
Not easily understanding how and what you are feeling might mean that you were not raised by a parent who supported you emotionally. Since narcissists only care about themselves and their emotions, they tend to disregard others’. If you were raised by a narcissist, you’d learn at a young age that stating your feelings and “bothering” them with your problems was not a good idea and could often lead to many bad outcomes.
Narcissists crave validation and admiration. Being bullied about your appearance and performance in school, being punished for embarrassing them, wanting you to be just successful enough to brag about you, but not so successful that you are making them jealous, are a few other good situations that can prove that they had NPD.
You may also want to read this:
6 things That Instantly Triggers a Narcissist
7 Things That Will Happen During Narcissistic Rage
10 Things A Narcissist Wants After A Breakup
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