Number 4: The Sound of You Thriving
Healing doesn’t always announce itself loudly, but it is never truly quiet either. It radiates through the way you speak, the way you carry yourself, and the energy that follows you into a room. Even your stillness can speak volumes when it is rooted in self-respect. And when a narcissist comes across the signs of your growth, whether online, through mutual acquaintances, or by accident, it hits them in a place they do not like to acknowledge exists. Because your thriving does not just represent recovery, can you tell me what it represents? Their failure.
It exposes the lie they told themselves about who you were and how important they were to your stability. They spent so much time shaping a narrative in their mind where you were lost without them, where you were the overly emotional one, the chaotic one, the weak one who would not survive the loss. That story gave them comfort; it gave them a reason to feel superior. So when you started showing signs of strength when you land a new job, look healthier, laugh louder, speak with a kind of clarity you never had around them it forces them to confront something deeply unsettling: not only did you survive, but you are becoming someone they no longer can reach and, even worse, someone they never really understood to begin with.
It doesn’t have to be a grand public show or achievement. Sometimes it’s the subtle things: a group photo where you look genuinely at ease, a video clip where your smile is real and unforced, a friend casually mentioning that you have been doing well. These small moments echo in their mind longer than they will ever admit. Your growth becomes a sound they cannot ignore, a kind of internal buzzing that reminds them of their failure to reduce you, control you, or leave a lasting mark of damage.
They do not live your joy as separate from them; they take it personally. Your glow feels like defiance; your peace feels like disrespect. Because if you can move forward and rebuild after what they put you through, then it must mean they were not as powerful as they thought, that your identity was never as fragile as they assumed. And that truth, quiet, steady, undeniable, is something their ego does not know how to digest.
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