Number 1: The Sweet smile of deception
They smile sweetly at others right after hurting you. A narcissist smiles sweetly at someone else right after emotionally destroying you. You’re still standing there, stunned and hollow, trying to breathe through the pain they just inflicted, and suddenly they start smiling and talking to others like nothing ever happened. One minute they are standing before you, spewing anger and fury, and the next, the phone rings, and lo and behold, everything about them changes. Their voice is gentler now, their whole attitude is altered, they talk as if they have honey in their mouths. They were furious a minute ago, and now they are talking with honey in their mouths, playing nice and gentle.
Their whole energy becomes charm and warmth. Not by accident. Not randomly. It’s deliberate. It’s to make you feel inferior, to make you believe that you’re the problem, that you’re not bringing value. Their smile towards others isn’t kindness; you have to grasp that. No, it’s punishment. It’s how they tell you, “I might be soft, I might be validating, I might be warm, but I will not be not for you.” And it is that which makes it unacceptable. It shames you in the most violating, quietest way possible because the very thing your heart is yearning for decency, recognition, connection is being given to some stranger like it means nothing.
They’re giving you empathy in your face to remind you that you are no longer deserving of it. What this does to your nervous system is more than devastating. It places you in a cycle of shame. You start doubting yourself. You look for what you did wrong. You doubt yourself as to why you are no longer the beloved one. You start believing that you must be repulsive to them. If they’re able to shower some kindness upon a stranger, who is someone that they barely even know, why can’t they shower it upon you? That’s not simply emotional neglect. That’s weaponized grace.
They deliberately tip over their humanity into another person as a way of vaccinating themselves and sucking it all out of you. And nobody else even says anything about it. To the outside world, they look polite, social, even admirable, but you’re the only one who knows that every laugh they give someone else is an arrow through your chest. Every compliment they hand out is a rejection aimed directly at you. That smile is not innocent; it’s not genuine. It’s a mask. It’s a message that says, “You’re invisible.”
You may also want to read this:
7 Signs That A Narcissist Is Done With You
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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