Number 1: Uneven food distribution
About the first habit, shall we? How they distribute food unevenly based on how they feel about you at that moment. This one used to happen a lot in my household. If a narcissist is love-bombing someone maybe a guest they want to impress, a sibling they are currently favoring, or even a partner they are trying to keep hooked that person gets the best. They will be served the warmest, most flavorful portion, arranged nicely on a plate with extra care and presentation.
It’s like watching a scene from a cooking show. But if you are the target that week let’s say you are the scapegoat, the one who spoke back, or simply the one they are projecting their shame onto you get the scraps: the watery curry, the stale bread, the overcooked rice that has been reheated too many times. You will sit there, trying not to show the hurt on your face, pretending that it’s okay, that you do not care. But inside, you will feel that sting, that small but unmistakable message: “You do not matter.”
The most cruel part? They won’t say anything. They will act completely normal. Sometimes, they will even make a joke or gaslight you if you mention it. “It’s just food,” they’ll say. “You’re too sensitive.” But you will notice the pattern repeating over and over. The food becomes a form of reward and punishment, a mirror of how they feel about you in that moment.
Number 2: Cooking for applause
Number two: They only cook for applause. One of the biggest misconceptions about narcissists is that they do not do acts of service. That’s not true. They absolutely do, but only when it results in admiration, attention, or power. They will cook when guests are coming over. Suddenly, they are enthusiastic, flipping through recipe blogs, lighting candles, and talking about how excited they are to host. They will make huge batches of lasagna, chocolate lava cakes, and lemon-roasted chicken thighs just to hear the compliments.
And while everyone is complimenting the meal, they will sit there quietly, pretending to be humble, when in reality, they’re soaking in the praise like it’s their oxygen. But when there is no one around no guests, no audience, no one to impress they stop. Food becomes lazy, neglected, and emotionless: frozen pizza, dry toast, canned soup, or nothing at all. You realize their energy was never about feeding people. It was about feeding their ego.
You may also want to read this:
Once the Narcissist Hurts a Loyal Woman, She Will Never Be The Same
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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