Number 3: Controlling s*e*x*u*a*l positions.
This is not about positions in general; that’s not part of our discussion. It’s not about preferences either. It’s about dominance. A narcissist always prefers a type of position that locks your body and turns you into a doll, and you cannot move. Generally, they would want to be on top of you so that you are under them, and they control your movement. Or they grab you; all around, your legs and arms are locked up.
You cannot move, you cannot participate. So they do things to your body, not to you. And when you try to participate, they stop you immediately and say, “No, I don’t like that. Stop it. You’re not allowed to feel yourself.” They just want to use you, and that is what it is all about. The point is, s**ex to a narcissist is nothing but a way to feel control, to exert control, and to feel dominant. That’s it.
They do not make love to you; they make love to their false self. Because when they’re doing it, they are boasting themselves, they’re stroking their ego. “See how good I am, see how I can make them feel it, and how they just are falling for it.” That is my specialty. This kind of thinking is normally found in somatic narcissists. This type of narcissist is body-centered, and they garner supply using their bodies.
Number 4: Excessive use of p*o*r*n*o*g*r*a*p*h*y.
This is not about p*o*r*n; some people have different preferences. Some people like to watch it together as a couple, and then that spices up their experience. Others do not prefer it; it’s not about preferences, so let’s not fight over if it is wrong or right. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m simply talking about how you are turned into an object, and how they get gratification from watching p*o*r*n, from looking at their screen instead of looking at you, the living person who is sitting next to you, waiting for them to connect emotionally.
They choose artificial over real; they choose strangers over you. All of that is done non-consensually. They don’t care if you want to watch p*o*r*n as well or not; they just do it because they can’t connect with reality. There is no authenticity. If they were to be here with you and enjoy the moment, wouldn’t they have to be vulnerable? Wouldn’t they have to be true to you? Wouldn’t that make them feel weak? They don’t like to feel weak. They would rather stay and live in their fantasy than be with you, then connect with you.
That is why they choose p*o*r*n over you, not because you are less attractive or you do not matter. That is what they want you to think, that’s what they want you to believe. They can’t take responsibility, so they have to belittle somebody, they have to put it on you, and they have to say, “Oh, you are doing it the wrong way, or you’re not attractive enough, you’re not saying things properly, or your body lacks this and you have that.”
They have to have all the reasons, but the real reason is they’re dead inside, and they cannot connect with you at a deep emotional level. They’re not capable of doing that, they do not want to go there because that would make them feel their own suppressed stuff.
You may also want to read this:
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