Number 1: Shaming and control
They shame you for what you buy and control the entire experience, like drone surveillance. If you have ever shopped with a narcissist, which I know you have, you will know. The cart isn’t just a shopping cart; it’s a battlefield. You’re not just pushing it, they are. You’re not choosing what goes into it, they are. And the moment you try to pick something for yourself, they swoop in with interrogation-style scrutiny: “Why do you need that? That is so expensive.
You are draining our money with this nonsense. What’s wrong with you?” Sometimes they won’t even say it. If they are covert, they will just give you the look, you know the one I’m talking about, the eyes that say “put that down” without a word spoken, and you obey like a child who has been caught stealing candy. I’ve seen it happen in real time.
My aunt had a jar of pickles in her hand once. She looked over to the narcissist in her life; he did not say a word, just narrowed his eyes slightly and flicked them downward. Instantly, she looked ashamed and put it back not because she wanted to, but because her body had been trained to fear that look. I grew up in a home like this.
My father did it all the time. He had this obsession with getting the smallest quantity of anything we bought. One time, my mother, who is herself a covert narcissist, gave him the silent treatment after he brought home a tiny packet of spices. That night, he exploded. He went into the kitchen and started throwing everything around. He tossed groceries on the floor: cans, meat, vegetables, plastic bottles, everything.
That was his revenge for being given the silent treatment over how much cumin he bought. That is how shopping becomes a war zone. When you’re with a narcissist, it is never just about money it’s about control, punishment, and power games.
You may also want to read this:
Once the Narcissist Hurts a Loyal Woman, She Will Never Be The Same
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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