The unmatched standard
They also remember you as the standard everyone else gets compared to. Here is something they will never admit, never tell you: they compare everyone to you every next source of supply. Not because they healthily miss you, but because, in their mind, you became their ideal (which is a crazy thing to say) the one they could not fully break. And in a twisted way, they somehow admire your strength. Believe me or not, that distorted perception of yours creates a very weird sense of longing but frustration at the same time.
They will meet someone new and think, Will this person be as loyal, as forgiving, as resilient? And for a moment, they will put that person on a pedestal, thinking they have finally found someone better than you. But does it ever last? Never. Because when that person does not fight back the way you did, when they do not have your fire, the narcissist feels the lack of it. They can feel that they have downgraded. And suddenly, you’re back in their mind again, not as someone they so loved, but as someone who won a battle they are still bitter about losing.
At night, they may tell themselves, I never wanted them anyway. My child, they were never mine to begin with. But those are all crazy stories. The truth is, they were left clueless. They’re left carrying the bitterness from losing the battle with you. And let me tell you this: that bitterness does not go away with time, which is what makes them so vengeful.
They may self-gaslight and say, Oh, I never wanted them anyway. But deep down, they are haunted by the fact that nobody else quite matches the challenge you were.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing Is Caring!
