Number 4: when the narcissist hears others laughing at their absence.
The narcissist told me that when he had heard one of his co-workers say, “Thank God he’s not coming to the party tonight. It’s going to be fun for a change.” And you know what it made me think of? All those times when we used to have celebrated as children whenever father had left for work. Suppose he would have to leave for a week. We would look forward to the joy, the freedom, the respite it would provide, and we celebrated it. We could not help but rejoice.
And then he would get extremely angry because he would know what that euphoria was all about. Sometimes he would say, “Nice, great. I know you are happy that I’ll be gone for a month, but don’t forget I am coming back, and you are going nowhere” just to destroy that smile he would see on our faces. When the narcissist we’re talking about heard that colleague, the sentence haunted him. You see, narcissists, believe they are a gift that even when people despise them, they are still the center of the room. The drama, the spark, the obsession you know it all.
But laughter that occurs because they are not present? That is betrayal. That is evidence that their place in the group is not as crucial as they would want to believe. It is poisonous. And that is what he confessed: “I’d rather be hated than be irrelevant. At least when they hate me, I’m on their mind.” That is tragic, but that is the way it is. Invisibility is killing a narcissist’s phony self. It means the act bombed.
Number 5: when a narcissist is mocked in private group chats.
I’m not praising ridicule at all, by the way. I’m just relaying what was related to me. This narcissist discovered this by accident, although. A co-worker left his phone open during lunch, and he saw an interesting meme that caught his attention but it was of him, followed by laughing faces from people he thought feared him. He explained to me that he felt violated but not the way you would imagine not due to privacy, but because he knew he had turned into a joke.
You may also want to read this:
Words That Destroy a Narcissist
9 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
The narcissist lives on fear, admiration, and even hostility but never ridicule. Ridicule is the one they cannot transform into supply or fuel because it reveals the clown behind the costume. And worse, that confirms people seeing what they were desperately trying to hide: it is their anxieties. So when people will be laughing in the back they are no longer their show; they have lost. They lose the script and the script as they strictly do.
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