Number 3: They will use fear to control you.
Narcissists want you to fear them. They don’t want you to feel safe. They want you to think that something bad might happen to you because that’s what they’re going to use to control you. That’s what gives them the power to influence and direct your behavior and the course of events. They will use criticism and strong emotions to make you afraid.
If you ever question or confront them on something you don’t approve of, they will get very angry so that the next time, you’re too afraid to tell them anything. It causes you to become very conscious of your movements until you just push your preferences aside. You forget about what you want, and you just do what they tell you to do because you don’t want to deal with all the difficulties and complications.
If you try to express yourself or display your individuality around a narcissist, it’s going to create more problems than it solves. It causes you to act in response to fear rather than how you would prefer to act or respond. You cannot be yourself around a narcissist.
Number 4: They will sabotage you.
When you’re getting to know the narcissist, they will try to isolate you. They will try to keep you all to themselves. They don’t want you to have any support. So, they will go behind your back and talk about you in an unfavorable and uncomplimentary way. Even if someone tries to compliment you, they will downplay it and divert their attention to a fault or mistake that you have made.
They don’t want people to trust you because that keeps them in the superior position, which is why they have to sabotage you so that they can elevate themselves at your expense. And now you have no one else that you can confide in. So, it keeps them as your only source of validation. It makes it easier for them to control you.
Number 5: They will target your flaws and imperfections.
They will get you to open up to them. They will get you to confide in them until you decide to reveal secrets or personal information. You might tell them about a mistake you made many years ago, and they will act understanding, but they will later use it as ammunition against you. They will later use that mistake to define you.
They will use it to make you lose your dignity and the respect of other people. When they try to get you to confide in them, it’s just another mind game. They will only take note of what you’re saying so they can later use it against you.
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