Number 1: Creating power within the family.
When a family has a malignant narcissist in the family, usually in a parenting role, they thrive on the idea of having complete control over everyone in the house. The ultimate goal is to belittle someone else to make themselves look bigger and better. It has been said that a malignant narcissist will pick the child as the scapegoat when they grow envious of them for possessing qualities that the narcissist does not have.
When these qualities outshine the narcissist, they will do anything in their power to take that shine away. They do not care if the child grows to be miserable in the home, as long as the narcissist is happy. The narcissist will pick the children in the home that are more compliant with the parents, or easier to persuade. They look for weaker-willed children who they know will take the abuse and believe it is because of their wrongdoing.
Number 2: They’re unable to control their own emotions.
A big reason someone is chosen as a scapegoat is that the narcissist is unaware of how to control their own emotions and behavior. Instead of seeking help to regulate their feelings, they project them onto someone else. This can be from a lack of education on the resources they have or low self-confidence to seek help. They usually choose one person to project their inner feelings onto because they never learned what it meant to have self-control or a support system to go to.
Many narcissists come from emotionally and verbally abusive backgrounds. That can mean they did not grow up learning how to regulate their emotions and anger while going through puberty and their young adult years.
Those years are the most important in learning how to handle your own emotions and understanding what they are and what they mean. Instead of seeking help, they continue the cycle and project the same feelings onto their children. This can cause the child to feel self-doubt and low confidence, and make them unlikely to trust anyone.
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