Number 5: To avoid their self-destruction.
When a narcissist chooses their scapegoat, they choose the weakest link. Most of the time, narcissists realize that they are truly weak and try to avoid showing that to others. With that being said, many are also self-aware of the self-destructive behavior they cause but don’t want to show it. They avoid facing their self-destructive behavior by making their scapegoat believe that they are the self-destructive ones. They continually tell them that they are the reason for the narcissist’s failed marriage, career, hobby, etc. They avoid confronting their problems by projecting the cause onto the scapegoat.
This can often lead to the scapegoat having lower self-esteem, rebelling against the family or the abuser, or growing extreme trust issues with ones close to them. This, of course, causes a harder strain on the relationship between the narcissist and the scapegoat. We believe you can say that the narcissist is looked at as a self-destructive tornado and the scapegoat is the innocent house that happens to get caught in its wake.
Number 6: They need a caretaker.
When a parent or caretaker who is narcissistic goes through a divorce or breakup with a significant other, it can be detrimental to them. Not only because it hurts their pride that they lost someone who was “supposed to care about them”, but also because it hurts their ego. When a child is involved in the equation, that child often finds themself caught in the middle of the separation.
The narcissist will seek out the scapegoat to look for someone to blame and to care for them. They will usually blame the scapegoat for the ending of the relationship. They will tell the scapegoat things such as “maybe if you were better they wouldn’t have left me” or “you always get everyone to leave me”. This causes the scapegoat to feel guilty for their so-called actions and look for ways to make amends. They will start to take care of the narcissist emotionally and continually tell them how amazing they are. It in a way correlates with gaslighting. The scapegoat is made to feel responsible for a situation so they look to the narcissist for reassurance.
You may also want to read this:
What Makes narcissists Crazy Thinking about?
10 Ways To Identify A Narcissist
How to Make Narcissists Regret Losing You?
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
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