Number 7: They can’t admit their flaws.
Admitting flaws can mean they have to accept their own behavioral problems. Narcissistic people do not want to admit they are anything but perfect. When they feel like they are anything less than perfect, it upsets them. When they feel like they are losing their place as perfect, they project those upsetting feelings onto others such as their scapegoat.
The narcissist will then start to point out the scapegoat’s flaws to create a distraction away from them. These distraction tactics create self-hate in the scapegoat. Are there times the scapegoat will break the cycle as an adult? Of course, some scapegoats will understand that their parents are creating a toxic setting and that it isn’t right. These children will grow up to create a completely different setting for their own home and usually cut the narcissist out of their lives and their children’s.
Narcissist acknowledges that they will have to accept their flaws if they are slipping through the cracks. This can be a hard pill to swallow for them and that leads to the narcissist lashing out at the scapegoat. That lashing out sometimes leads to verbal abuse and bullying.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Number 8: That is how they grew up.
As mentioned before, narcissists picking a scapegoat is usually done because they were scapegoated themselves as children. When narcissists were chosen as scapegoats because they appeared to be the weaker link, they learned that they had to strive for perfection to feel wanted and loved. This creates a toxic circle of life in that family.
The scapegoat as a child believes that true love from a family member tells the child what is wrong with them. They take in the behaviors of the parents and exhibit that behavior to their children. They project all of their insecurities onto their children. It is embedded into their brain to show that they are the superior one in the household and they must show someone else’s insecurities to make people forget about the narcissist. This can easily be done.
Many narcissists are very good at persuading others to believe the same things they do. If the narcissist has a significant other that is easily persuaded, they can influence the other partner to focus on the scapegoat’s flaws as well. Doubling up on the scapegoat can be harder on them when they get older because they believe that is how two parents should treat a child.
Read More: 10 Signs Someone Has a God Complex
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