So, anyone who is going to be abusive is going to act like they love you. But with a covert narcissist, things are a little bit more difficult to detect because the abuse is covered. And this really speaks to what I’ve referred to as death by a thousand paper cuts it’s subtle abuse that happens and builds up over time, but it really has an effect on you. And you don’t realize until you’re out how much it really did affect you, especially since, along with all those little paper cuts, there are going to be some much bigger wounds too.
So, let’s dive into five reasons why covert abuse or abuse by a covert narcissist feels like love.
1. It happens really early on
You think there’s something genuine behind their love bombing, the idealization it feels real. And when they come back and they’re giving you a fake apology, saying that they’re going to change, it feels real. Or even if they’re not saying they’re going to change, the desperation to get you back feels so intense it feels like there’s no way this person does not have genuine feelings.
And here’s the deal: they do have genuine feelings, but those feelings are not what you think and they’re not what they want you to think. What they’re feeling is a desperation for supply. They need you to adore them it’s not the other way around. Unfortunately, they know exactly what to do and what buttons to push to get you into that state because they’ve probably done it hundreds of times before.
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