Instead of engaging, you go quiet not because you are silenced, but because you have become wise. You no longer need to be understood by someone who uses your words against you. You do not need to win a debate to feel valid. You know your truth, and you do not need their permission to believe it.
This kind of silence is not passive. It is intentional. It is protective. It is a sign that you have shifted out of the trauma bond and stepped into your power.
Sign 5: Losing appeal for the relationship
The final and perhaps most telling sign is that the entire relationship, the dynamic itself, no longer appeals to you. What once felt passionate and magnetic now feels immature and exhausting. You no longer see the highs and lows as signs of love or intensity; you see them as instability. You see it as a never-ending cycle of chaos that you don’t want anything to do with.
Even the parts you used to cling to the sweet moments, the memories, the shared laughter, the emotional intimacy (that you basically created) start to feel tainted. You realize that even the “nice” times were part of the trap. They were used to keep you hooked, to keep you hoping, to keep you emotionally dependent.
You no longer fantasize about them changing, helping them, or “getting back to how it used to be” because you know how it used to be, and you’ve finally admitted that it was never healthy.
This is where the biggest internal shift happens. You stop focusing on what they did wrong, and you start focusing on *who you are becoming*. You do not want to fight for their attention anymore. You just want peace. You want growth. You want real love, the kind that does not require you to lose yourself.
When you look back at the dynamic and feel tired rather than nostalgic, that is the clearest sign of all: You have outgrown it. You have outgrown them. And you have outgrown the version of yourself that needed them.
Read More: 5 Reasons Covert Narcissistic Abuse Feels Like Love
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