Number 2: Stop needing anything from them
The narcissist only has power over you when you need something from them. That’s the hook, and that’s how they stay in your life, even when they’re not physically present. You need them to see what they did, you need them to apologize, you need them to tell the truth, you need them to finally give you the love you gave them, or they were supposed to give you if they’re a parent. That need keeps you bound. That hope keeps the door cracked open, and they know it. They know exactly what you’re waiting for: that one conversation, that one honest moment, that one flicker of remorse. So they dangle it just out of reach.
They say things like, “I’ve been thinking about everything,” or “I never meant to hurt you,” but it never leads anywhere. It’s just enough to keep you close, to keep you wondering, to keep you tied emotionally. Because the second you stop needing that, the second you truly let go of that last thread, they have nothing left to work with. You have to face something hard to admit: they were never going to give you what you needed, not back then, not now, not ever. What you were waiting for doesn’t exist inside them.
The love you wanted, the apology you deserved, the closure you hoped for, it’s not coming. Please accept that. Because they don’t want to make things right; they want to keep things open, unfinished, complicated. They want you stuck in the waiting room of their emotional neglect, questioning yourself, while they walk in and out of your life like it costs them nothing. So stop waiting not because you’re giving up, but because you’re waking up. You have to pull the energy inward. You have to give yourself what they refuse to: your closure, your validation.
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