Number 3: They use pregnancy to trap you.
If a narcissist cannot humble you, they get you pregnant. This is a form of abuse no one talks about in detail; it is called reproductive abuse, and it is real. When a narcissist sees you gaining awareness, rising in confidence, or preparing to leave them, they time the pregnancy. Just when you are finding your voice, they silence it with exhaustion. Just when you start to pull away, they pull you back with a positive test. They do not want a baby, of course not, to build a family; they want a baby to build a cage.
Pregnancy becomes a leash, a distraction, a tool for biological control. Because when you are pregnant, your body is exhausted, your emotions are raw, your mind is foggy, your world revolves around survival, that is when they tighten the grip. They might even sabotage birth control or lie about their fertility. Some narcissists go as far as timing it during ovulation, hoping for an “accident.” Can you believe that? And once you are pregnant, game over. They abandon you, having nothing to do with you.
You carry the burden physically, financially, and emotionally, while they play the victim or the hero, as usual, in public. After birth, it only gets worse. You know the story: they criticize your body, shame your postpartum emotions (we call it postpartum depression), refuse to help with the baby, and mock you for needing support. The story goes on and on and on. The worst of it all, they weaponize the child during co-parenting or when you divorce them.
They know your love for your child is deep, unshakable, so they use it as leverage. “You will destroy our child if you leave. Who is going to take care of them if you are this unstable? No court will give you custody because you are a mess.” They turn motherhood into a minefield. They do not co-parent; you already know they counter-parent. They do not even parallel parent. Parallel parenting is a concept that, in my opinion, is inapplicable to this dynamic because they are not parenting at all. So, you’re not parallel parenting; you are separately parenting.
You may also want to read this:
Words That Destroy a Narcissist
9 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
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