People who are cruel to others by disregard, rejection, punishment, infidelity, derision, etc. usually end up on their own. This is what happens to many narcissists. They always end up on their own because of their nasty behaviors. This means that they have a limited repertoire of responses to use when they lose control over someone.
They may even try to reconcile with you in person – they certainly are, but maybe not in terms of the harm they’ve caused. Mostly, they’re sorry because of what they face at the moment – the fact that they’ve lost a valuable narcissistic supply. They’re sorry for the fact that they’re all alone again, being abandoned. They feel ashamed that now they’re exposed.
An alternative is to explain before offering an apology, such as “It’s not me, it’s my anxiousness,” “The fact that our mill is out of my control,” or “I’m unable to regulate my actions because of my addiction to this substance. Please accept my apologies.” After all, you also said something that deeply hurt me years ago. Things may go around that line. Unfortunately, most apologies are forgotten after a short period has passed, whether it is one day or one week. They’d go back to their old self.
Narcissists tend to revert to their previous behavior patterns. Exceptionally talented narcissists don’t have trouble changing their gameplay. They simply discover novel approaches to old problems – the same thing, only a different setup. They can act as if they’re trying to reason with you rather than apologize. Just picture this person taking the gray rock approach where they just answer inquiries with a single word or the no contact approach where they simply stop answering queries.
Sending a text or email with the message “I’ve no idea what I’ve done to hurt you, but I’ll always love you” is a common manner of expressing regret for past wrongdoings and assuring the recipient of one’s eternal love. In such a situation, you can probably anticipate a lot of jumbled words followed by a threat like “and I’m going to let other people know what you’re like,” but still, I want you to know that my feelings for you will never change.
If you do receive such a message, or if you do receive an apology, pleading, or tears, perhaps you are contemplating giving them another chance. I won’t talk you out of it, but I will ask you to think about drawing on your experience. I mean, how many times can they say sorry before you stop listening? Perhaps it wasn’t a large sum, but how many were there? So, the negative behavior ended after the apologies were issued, correct? Since this has always been the case before, why should this time be any different?
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing Is Caring!
