When you refuse to reflect a narcissist’s false power to them, it creates a glitch in their system. They expect you to cry; they expect long paragraphs, midnight breakdowns, and shattered pieces of your self-esteem lying all over the floor. They want screenshots; they want blocked and unblocked phone numbers; they want your voice trembling, shaking, your eyes red, your sleep disturbed. They expect you to beg, explain, defend, and collapse. So when you show up poised, measured, calm, it breaks something deep inside them. When you do not fall apart, it sends them spiraling. Your silence feels different; it feels like you have vanished emotionally, and they cannot find a way back in. This is the moment the narcissist begins to lose control not of you, but of themselves.
Narcissists live deep inside a loop of validation. They hurt to test; they provoke to measure; they manipulate to observe, and your reaction gives them their answers. If you react explosively, it tells them they still own a part of you. If you become desperate, it proves they are irreplaceable. If you fight back with extreme emotion, it tells them they still weigh your world. Now imagine what happens when none of that lands. You do not message back. You do not retaliate. You do not post anything cryptic. You do not make any effort to show them that you are hurt. You act as if they never touched your soul at all.
That is when the narcissist starts to ask questions not about you, but about themselves. Did I miscalculate? Was I never that important? Has this person grown past me? And the worst of all: Am I losing my power? They cannot stand that question because the narcissist is not scared of being hated; they are terrified of being irrelevant. I have said it so many times: hated means you still care; indifference is the death sentence to them.
You may also want to read this:
Words That Destroy a Narcissist
9 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
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