Some narcissists enter what is known as a covert collapse. It is when their mask begins to crack, their false self begins to fall apart, not in public, but in private. Sleepless nights, irritability, addiction spikes, panic, self-harm, random emotional breakdowns. Your lack of reaction brings their demons to the surface, if I were to put it that way. They wanted to break you to prove their superiority; instead, they accidentally unearthed their fragility.
When a narcissist hurts you, you can confuse them the most by healing in silence—not a silence of suppression, but a silence of elevation, a silence filled with reinvention. That silence forces them to confront something they have been running from their entire life: they do not matter as much as they think they do. And that is the most humiliating realization for a narcissist.
The narcissist is hoping to anchor themselves in your nervous system. That means they want to condition you. Every time you flinch, cry, or explain, they’re programming your body to see them as the source of your emotional weather. You reverse that damage by not flinching, even when it hurts, even when your body wants to scream. You show your system a new pattern: that safety doesn’t mean being loved by them, that safety now lives in your reaction, that peace is a choice you do not need their permission to feel.
Confuse them because pain has always been their way in. They do not understand that true power is when you can hold your ground without any drama, when you can walk away without saying a word, when you can sit across from someone who tried to ruin you and look at them with the same calm as you would look at a stranger on the street. They do not expect that, and they do not know what to do with it.
They will say you have changed, that you are heartless, that you are cold, that you are not the person you used to be. Good. That’s what we want because the person you used to be soft in that direction, forgiving even after being discarded, explaining when they did not deserve a response at all, that person was fuel, what we call supply, a safety net. The new you? You are a threat. You are proof that healing is real, that love does not require approval, that closure can come without a conversation, that self-respect is stronger than trauma bonding.
You may also want to read this:
7 Signs That A Narcissist Is Done With You
What Happens To Narcissists When They Get Older?
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